Be a Father to your Child

There’s nothing like being a father. From the moment that new life is birthed, and you realize the awesome responsibility you now have for this precious gift, your life changes forever. I can remember the wave of emotions that came over me when I saw my baby girl for the first time. I knew at that moment that my life now had new meaning.

As awesome of a feeling as fatherhood is, all parents have come to learn that parenting is a tough job. On top of that, being a single parent can make things even more challenging. Being a single dad myself, I have seen my fair share of ups and downs. Whether it’s been the rocky relationship with my child’s mother, maintaining a long-distance relationship with my child while she lives in another city, to even dealing with an extended period of time where my child wasn’t even speaking to me. I would be lying if I said that none of these circumstances have ever weighed me down and made me feel less than the father that I know that I am. The one thing that has never wavered is my love for my child, and my willingness to do whatever it takes to make sure she knows her dad loves her and will always be there for her.

I recently watched a video on Instagram of Kel Mitchell talking about how he’s been fighting to see his children for about 7 years, and how he was finally reunited with his children after all these years. He referenced his faith and how it allowed him to have peace and never give up the fight to be reunited with his children. There are tons of stories of men fighting the system or the other parent just for their right to be a father. I’ll never understand why one parent will use children as a pawn against the other. It’s the dirtiest and lowest form of civil warfare. I think people lose sight of what’s really at stake in these fights. There is a life in the balance, and that life is that of the child. All the drama being played out in these fights amongst the parents will leave lifelong trauma on the children, and that is lost in the moment.

So many times, fathers are painted in a negative light in media, music, and television. I think about the famous scene in the tv series The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air where Will asks, “How come he don’t want me, man?” That scene gets me choked up, to this day, every time I watch it. I also think of a rap song from the 90's rap song Ed O.G. and da Bulldogs titled “Be a Father to Your Child.” These are just a couple of references to the negative depiction of absent fathers in tv and music. I don’t think there is enough attention paid to stories like Kel Mitchell and credit given to men that are fighting to be fathers to their children. There are so many men out there being the best fathers they can be and others fighting to be in their children’s lives. Chris Rock once joked that you don’t get credit for what you’re supposed to do. While this is true, I also think we need to show the real dads some love. Of course, I’m biased, but what can I say?

As always,

Kings Can Move On Y’all